i couldn’t help but feeling bad for everybody at the bar last night. i don’t know if its like a kind of coping thing for me, but holy shit was that horrible. All the same people that didn’t do anything with their lives and just hang out at the same three bars every weekend, saying,
"whats good man?"
"hows everything bro?"
"fucking crazy seeing you"
No its not crazy seeing me we have both lived in the same fucking town since we were born. We went to all the same schools, have the same friends. So seeing me really is not out of the realm of possibilities.
Maybe I’m just being cynical, but fuck. Its so repetitive
I’m craving going out and getting drunk to escape the shitty situation i’m in. I’m looking to escape that reality. But something about seeing all these people crowded in front of the band that’s playing shitty 90s and early 00’s music, i just felt bad for them acting a fool, being creepy, being depressed, being drugged up, being horny. Then there’s me, just being drunk trying to get back into the life everybody tells me im missing.
I think they’re the one’s missing out, i have a daughter and its the most amazing thing in the whole world. I’d so much rather be doing something with her instead of going out and getting black out drunk, hooking up with some desperate chick that’s not very attractive, and by just basic statistics has hooked up with at least two of my friends/ five other people at this bar.
"After being here id rather be a dad." thats all i kept thinking about. Thats the only thought that kept running through my brain. I dont know if it was the cheap whisky shot i had ordered or what.
I dont want a night life like that on an every weekend basis. Yeah its fun going out with my friends and family, and i do occasionally like getting shit faced drunk, but %90 of the time id rather be home watching the baby monitor, playing video games, watching a movie, hanging with my woman.
i enjoy a good time every now and again, but i dotn enjoy being hungover. Id so much rather smoke pot, then get drunk. I’d rather sit home while my kid sleeps, then go out get white girl wasted and puke on somebody.